Monster Raving Loony Party UnOfficial Manifesto

Monster Raving Loony Party Manifesto Proposals

1. Cool on the outside:
   To combat global warming and climate change all buildings should be fitted with air conditioning units on the outside.

2. Needles
   Due to the increasing number of children afraid of needles, I propose the destruction of the tedious, scary and often painful process of school vaccinations. Instead, I propose that highly trained nurses should be given free reign on the playground with specially modified tranquillizer rifles which apply vaccinations as well as a tranquillizer. This would have two main benefits: It would be less scary for the children as they will not know what hit them, also it will be more fun for the nurses

3. Prison Food
   The problems of prison overcrowding and increased crime will be solved easily by issuing a compulsory contract on McDonalds to do all prison catering. Convervative estimates suggest a 50% reduction in crime rates within 2 years with 0% re-offender figures.

4. Good Heroes
   Make it illegal for super heroes to use their powers for evil.

5. 
   
6. Scary Terrorists
   Ban all terrorists from having beards as they look scary.

7. Poop Scoop
   Anyone allowing their Hyena to poop on the pavement should shovel it away immediately, As this is no laughing matter

8. Put a Sock in it
   All socks to be sold in packs of 3 as a precaution against losing one.

   

9. A Hanging Offence
   It is proposed to systematically destroy all wire coat hangers.
   Shirts slip off them. People hang them on doorhandles. They bend when you hang jeans on them. The flick off rails. They join together in pairs. The gaggle in dodgy, tinny, wiry orgies, tingling nastily. They have a static sneer. Have you ever actually seen anybody buy them? Who even sells them? Do they just appear in your wardrobes? They seem to have a near endless domestic omnipresence.
   Not only a waste of wire, but a waste of time. How often have you had to rehang things on them? Or perhaps Reiron shirts after being bent ruthlessly shapelss thereon? Then they spin of the rail and onto the floor. You kick them and then get wrapped around your foot, or sibling. And then if you can find a bin that will fit such a stupidly angular object, the sadistic little sharp corner on the hook rips the bag and there it is again, escaped. What a malicious little sod.
   Let's face it; The only use for metal coat hangers is to unravel them and make them into something else.
   Therefore, it is proposed that all wire coathangers should be systematically hung, drawn and unravelled, under the 1936 Public Order Act.