Being American

Being American is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing Mexican or Chinese on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most American thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet Coke.

Only in Ameria do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.