Welcome Christmas!

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas, bring your light
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome in the cold of night

Welcome Christmas, fahoo ramus
Welcome Christmas, dahoo damus
Welcome Christmas, while we stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas! Come this way
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day

Welcome, welcome, fahoo ramus
Welcome, welcome, dahoo damus
Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp

Dentists

All newly trained dentists will be required to have 3 teeth removed, 2 fillings and a root canal without anesthetic. They will also have their teeth cleaned using cutlery from a standard kitchen. Then they will know the agony they inflict on the rest of us.

Being American

Being American is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing Mexican or Chinese on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most American thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet Coke.

Only in Ameria do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Not like us

It is suggested that we should not be xenophobic. But, being American, it isn't practical.

To Spam or not to Spam?

My blog has been flagged by the Blogger auto-bot as spam. I think it may come from the way you need to enter "word verifications" to post. Of course with my eyesight if I get it right in 5 tries I'm doing well. No hard feelings Blogger dudes, I'm sure you'll straighten it out.

On the other hand I think we should create a new flavor of Spam called "Stinky French Garlic" and force those who actually spam to eat a sandwich publically. It is more humane than flogging and much more humiliating.

And you think I'm loony?

You just can't make this stuff up...

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/cobb/stories/2008/10/06/voodoo_bad_checks.html

Corollary for Change

Change is inevitable, growth is optional - Walt Disney

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. - Lord Dagger Bluebeard